During the research process for my work Poesia Dolorosso, I developed a guided medition to aid in the recollection and mental visualization of one’s memories. I would do this exercise, which I named: “Immersive Retrospective Meditation”, with people before interviewing them about their recollections for my work.

The meditation stems from a coping mechanism which helped me to deal with anxiety at a young age. I found that through a sharp inward focus, I could mentally project myself to places in memories that made me feel calm and safe. I would often transport myself to quiet beaches on Aruba where I’d never find any strangers and I’d be there in my mind: lying in the hot sand after a swim, watching waves roll on and off the shore. I could do this a point where I’d nearly feel as though if I was really there. Nowadays, these same beaches no longer exist as they look in my childhood memories; they are invested with tourists, littered with their trash and sediments of ocean plastic.

This performance is an ode to all such places, it’s a response to the grief felt at the loss of places, landscapes and how these nurtured and cared for us. The meditation was performed with an audience at Felix Meritis during Shaquille Shaniqua Joy’s The Living Room Session.